Top 5 body parts to rub during power hour for extra trading luck

Forget algorithms, charts, and indicators—real traders know the true path to success involves aggressively rubbing random parts of their body while anxiously staring at fluctuating numbers. Here’s your definitive guide to which body parts generate maximum day trading luck during that adrenaline-packed final hour before market close:

1. Left Elbow

Scientifically proven (by literally no one) to increase your chances of correctly guessing market direction by at least 0.004%. Rub vigorously in counter-clockwise circles to activate "Elbow Luck"—a phenomenon traders swear by when they're desperate enough.

2. The Underside of Your Chin

Most traders overlook this goldmine of luck, but veteran gamblers know that gently stroking your chin is synonymous with wealth, prosperity, and appearing moderately less panicked than you actually are. Bonus points for whispering "stonks" while you do it.

3. Your Bellybutton

Sure, it sounds weird, and yeah, people might judge—but do you want profits or social approval? Aggressively fingering your bellybutton exactly 17 times during power hour creates a luck vortex powerful enough to magically reverse a losing position. Probably.

4. Behind Your Knees

Rubbing the back of your knees has absolutely zero historical precedent, but it feels oddly comforting when you've lost half your savings shorting Tesla. Plus, there's always a tiny chance you'll accidentally discover a genie back there.

5. Eyebrows (Specifically Left Eyebrow)

Rubbing your left eyebrow increases financial clairvoyance by at least 13% (this is definitely made-up). Doing so rapidly while screaming at your screen helps channel your desperation into focused, profitable trades. Or at least distracts you from checking your rapidly declining account balance.

Remember, successful day trading isn't about research or strategy—it's about superstitiously rubbing parts of your body until money magically appears. Good luck, and rub responsibly.